And what could be better than some spicy Mexican jokes? We have the instant method of relief to help with a bad mood: hilarious Mexican jokes to turn any grumpy face into a bursting laugh! It’s true, they’re all actually based on the racial stereotype regarding them as an unintelligent, lower class of criminals, drug dealers and lazy know-nothings who came here to steal cars and live on social welfare; but even Mexicans have grown to like them, turning sarcasm creatively into humor we can all enjoy. No offense taken. We’ve prepared a full list of the funniest jokes about Mexicans we could find to fight those blues away!
There are two Mexicans talking. One is a new resident of the town.
The first Mexican says to the other, "Hey, Vato, this town is pretty rough. All the Mexicans know how to fight. So watch your back."
The other Mexican replies, "I don't need to worry, because I know
The first Mexican asks, "What's Mexican Judo?"
The second says, "Ju don't know if I have a gun; Ju don't know if I have a knife..."
Three men are traveling in the Amazon, a German, an American, and a Mexican, and they get captured by some Amazons. The head of the tribe says to the German, "What do you want on your back for your whipping?" The German responds, "I will take oil!" So they put oil on his back, and a large Amazon whips him ten times. When he is finished the German has these huge welts on his back, and he can hardly move. The Amazons haul the German away, and say to the Mexican, "What do you want on your back?" "I will take nothing!" says the Mexican, and he stands there straight and takes his ten lashings without a single flinch. "What will you take on your back?" the Amazons ask the American. He responds, "I'll take the Mexican.”
Why can’t Mexicans be firemen?
They can’t tell the difference between Jose and Hose B.
There was a Colombian, a Mexican and an American on a boat. The Mexican sees the Colombian throw a coffee bean overboard as he walks by. "Why'de you throw the coffee bean over?" asks the Mexican.
"Because we have too many in our country". So the Mexican throws a Taco overboard. Seeing this the American asks "why did you throw that Taco overboard?".
The Mexican Replies "because we have too many in our country".
So the American picks the Mexican up and throws him overboard...
Four Mexicans are in a car. Who’s driving?
A Mexican is being interviewed by the cops for doing drugs and the cop says to him: “How high are you?” The Mexican replies “No, no, officer, it’s – Hi, how are you?”
Juan, Carlos and Antonio all jump off a cliff to see who will hit the ground first. Who wins?
Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He's got two large bags over his shoulders.
The guard stops him and says, "What's in the bags?""Sand," answered Juan.The guard says, "We'll just see about that get off the bike." The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand.
He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags.The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, "What have you got?""Sand," says Juan.The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand.He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.This sequence of events if repeated every day for three years. Finally, Juan doesn't show up one day and the guard meets him in a Cantina in Mexico."Hey, Buddy," says the guard, "I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about... I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?" Juan sips his beer and says, "Bicycles."
What’s the difference between a teacup and a pee cup?
A tea cup is a kind of cup they drink out of in England. A pee cup is a kind of truck they drive in Mexico.
A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hits Mexico. Two million Mexicans have died and over a million are injured. The country is entirely ruined, and the government doesn’t know where to start with asking for help to rebuild. The rest of the world is in shock.
Canada is sending troopers to help the Mexican army control the riots.
Saudi Arabia is sending oil to replace what was lost.
Other Latin American countries are sending supplies to replace what was lost.
The European community is sending food to replace what was lost.
The United States, not to be outdone, is sending two million replacement Mexicans.
What do mexicans and vending machines have in common?
They both take your money and don’t work.
A white guy married a hot latin chick, and ever since all she wants all the time is sex. At some point the guy goes to his friend to ask what to do, and the friend says "Tell her from now on if she wants some she has to pay: 10 bucks on the floor, 20 bucks in the kitchen, and 30 bucks in the bedroom.
The guy comes home and takes of his shirt, his wife jumps on him and he tells her "Hey! from now on if you want some you pay for it! On the floor: 10 bucks, in the kitchen: 20 bucks, and in the bedroom: 30 bucks."
So the girl says "O.K. Here's 30 bucks"
The guy asks "In the bedroom?"
The girl says "No! 3 times on the floor!"
What do you call four Mexicans in quicksand?
A new scientific study reveals that Jesus was actually a Mexican:
- he was born in a barn
- he walked around always wearing flip-flops
- if he ever did anything, it was a miracle
A cowboy walks into a bar, sits down, and asks for a shot. Across the bar, a Mexican man is sitting and glaring at the cowboy. The cowboy takes the shot and slams the shot glass down on the counter, yelling, "TGIF!" The Mexican orders a shot, takes it, and slams his glass down, yelling, "SPIT!" The cowboy looks over at him and notices the Mexican guy is still staring at him. The cowboy once again orders a shot, slams it down, and yells again "TGIF!" Once again, the Mexican orders a shot, slams it down after consuming it, and yells out, "SPIT!" This goes on for a while, and the bartender stands puzzled and annoyed. Finally, the bartender asks the cowboy, "Just checking, but do you know what TGIF means?" and the cowboy replies, "Hell ya I know what it means, 'Thank God It's Friday!'" The bartender asks the Mexican guy, "Okay, so what does 'SPIT' mean?" and the Mexican replies, "Stupid Pendejo It's Thursday!"
What did the Mexican get for his birthday?
What's the difference between a slave and a Mexican?
A slave gets more work done when the sun is out than Mexicans because Mexicans sit on their asses tanning and doing laundry.
Did you know that Mexican gigolos sometimes have specials? Two for the price of Juan.
Did you hear about the Mexican train killer? He had locomotives.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The chicken was from mexico and the other side of the road was the USA.